![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Now she’s back with us, the listening public, with “The State of Affairs.” Here Perel, once again, takes on the subject of monogamy and sex, though not from the tautologically dull perspective of faithful spouses bored with each other but from the far more tantalizing angle of husbands and wives who stray. Over the past decade she’s held dozens of workshops and training seminars and launched a podcast that broadcasts what happens in her therapy room. ![]() (Perel’s answer: Try maintaining at least a tiny bit of mystery.) That book secured Perel’s place as one of America’s hottest couples therapists. Many people met Perel 10 years ago when she published “Mating in Captivity,” a smart, incisive international hit that dealt with how to stay married, or really how to keep having decent married sex. She also staunchly calls out your self-deceptions, which, in a sex expert, is just what you need. Her voice is tinged with a sadness you imagine she’d like to soothe by reading Anaïs Nin aloud to you in bed. She’s got this whole older woman, sexy-wise, passionate intellectual thing that makes you feel she knows the depths of your shame and the vibrancy of your lust. We spent nearly 12 hours together lately, Perel’s cat-nippy French-accent whispering in my ear. THE STATE OF AFFAIRS Rethinking Infidelity By Esther Perel Read by the author 11 hours, 57 minutes. ![]()
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